Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
