my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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