Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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