I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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