Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
