I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
