I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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