she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
