is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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