i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
