I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
