Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
