Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
