The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
