If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
