How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
