oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
