Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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