Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
