I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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