Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
