oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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