Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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