Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
