I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
