another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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