Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
