TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
ttyl tear gas
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
