Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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