Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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