My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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