just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
