Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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