Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
