A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.