A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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