Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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