I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
