There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
