wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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