I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
North Korea, Best Korea!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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