So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
