All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
