he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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