i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
