now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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