haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize