i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
