Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
