Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize