ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize