You're a womanizer and a bitch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
