Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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