You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
