I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
