Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They have beer where we have blood.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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