Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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