I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
