I am puke
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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