I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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