Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize