Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
